Navigating Life with Chronic Illness: How Online Therapy with a Nurse Psychotherapist Can Support You

When someone is first diagnosed with a chronic illness, people usually respond with care and concern. There are check-ins, offers to help and kind words. For a little while, it feels like people really see you and want to support you.

But then time passes.

While the illness is still very much a part of your life, everyone else seems to move on. You're still in it, still dealing with it every single day, but the support starts to fade. Friends stop asking. Family doesn’t bring it up anymore. It’s not that they don’t care, but the truth is they’re over it, even though you don’t have the option to be. You find yourself talking about how you feel less frequently because you’re tired of unsolicited advice and opinions. People then just assume you must be doing fine.

Feeling Disconnected

One of the hardest parts of living with chronic illness is how isolating it becomes. Over time, it can feel like you’re no longer able to relate to the people in your life, and they can’t relate to you either.

You might find yourself pulling away from conversations because the things others complain about just don’t match the reality of your day-to-day life. You hear people stress about being stuck in traffic or a minor cold, and meanwhile, you’ve spent your week bouncing between specialist appointments, planning medication schedules, trying to keep the house in order, and managing basic personal care with limited energy.

It’s exhausting. By the time you've done the things required just to survive, there’s nothing left in the tank for socializing or pretending you're okay.

Every Illness Looks Different

Not all chronic illnesses are the same. Even people with the same diagnosis can have completely different symptoms, energy levels, limitations and needs. One person might be working full time, and another with the same condition might be unable to leave the house. These differences are real and they matter. Chronic illness doesn’t come with a rulebook or a template. It affects everyone in deeply personal ways.

If You Want to Support Someone with Chronic Illness

If you have someone in your life who lives with a chronic condition, your support can make a huge difference, but only if it’s consistent and thoughtful. Here are some ways to really be there:

• Keep checking in, even if they don’t always respond right away

• Offer specific help rather than general offers (for example, "I’m going to the store. Can I grab you anything?")

• Understand that canceled plans aren’t personal

• Don’t try to fix things. Just listen

• Learn about their illness so you don’t expect them to teach you everything

Even simple messages like "I’m thinking of you" or "No pressure to respond, just here for you" can help someone feel less alone.

How Therapy Can Help

One thing I often recommend for people living with chronic illness is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or CBT. While CBT can’t change the physical symptoms, it can really help with the emotional weight that comes with them. Chronic illness brings a lot of grief, loss, anxiety and even shame. CBT can help you challenge the thoughts that keep you stuck in guilt or fear, and give you tools to manage stress, set boundaries and build resilience. It can help you make space for all the emotions that come with living in a body that doesn’t function the way it used to.

Therapy gives people a space where they don’t have to explain or minimize what they’re going through. A space where everything you’re feeling is valid.

If you’re living with chronic illness and feel like no one gets it anymore, you’re not alone. There are ways to be supported and to feel more grounded, even when your life doesn’t look anything like it used to.

I offer online therapy across Ontario for individuals living with chronic illness and other life transitions. If you'd like more information or are interested in scheduling a session, please feel free to reach out through our website.

Our Registered Nurse Psychotherapist understands what it's like to live with chronic illness. Visit our website to schedule a free 15 minute phone consultation and discover how therapy can support you.

Connie Coda, Registered Nurse Psychotherapist

Connie Maria Psychotherapy

conniemariapsychotherapy.ca